Circa Summer ’02

I thought all night about if I’d meet Terrence or not. Issa set up. No, couldn’t be. Could it? He’s seen me with Fred so he knows I talked to him. Sex. It’s a sex thing. Ugh, I hate boys. I bet that’s what it is. They must be all alike. But maybe he is different although they are as close as they are. 

The very next evening after Terrence told me to meet him, I did. We talked, we laughed, and I got a feel for who he might be. I liked him. Or I thought I did. He had a son who I had the pleasure of meeting and falling in love with, immediately. Kevon. His face was his fathers face. He was shy, a cutie pie, and he loved his Daddy.

He liked me. He thought I was smart. He thought I was attractive. I thought the same. So after hour long conversations over a few weeks and seeing him almost every day after school, I went to see him and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I had to ask the burning question. “You know I talked to Fred, right?”
His entire facial expression changed. He looked me dead in my eyes and said, “Look, that’s that man. I don’t have nothing to do with that. Y’all don’t talk now, right? No, because you talking to me. He didn’t know what he had so that’s on him.” Okay zaddy.

I became obsessed with him, almost. I found myself watching everything he did. How he moved. How he spoke to people. He was very intimidating to others. Overly confident, which I loved. He was just so sure of everything he did and didn’t have any regrets. Nobody messed with him. He was such a protector kind of figure and I wanted that. Just maybe it wasn’t the kind of protection I needed. 

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