Things Changed

Not sure why I ran away but I’m sure I had a good reason. Probably not but that’s what I’m going with for now. Oh, I remember! I missed my mother. I missed my sister and I desperately missed my nieces and nephew who I was missing out on getting to see grow up.

Police, friends, family, all looked for me while I stayed stashed away like an unwanted lamp post at Quita’s house. I remember a Police Officer coming to Quita’s house and her mom telling them I wasn’t there. But, Police being Police, he had to “check the premises” and determine if that were the truth or not. In a quick, fast, hurry, I hid underneath of the bed and his stupid self never even saw me. Rookie.

I had been in touch with my mom while I was there, so she was the only one who knew where I was. I think Quita’s mom understood how I felt, that’s why she allowed me to hide out in her home. My mom got in touch with one of our cousins, who was also with the Police force. What are the odds? I agreed to “turn myself in” but only to her. I met her, we talked, I cried, and she took me (literally) around the corner from Quita’s house to my grandmothers.

My cousin went in first, letting them know I was fine but their faces showed no empathy at all. My grandmother, with her head down, couldn’t even understand why I’d do such a thing. My aunt, the twins mom, told me that I was going back to D.C. and my mother would be coming to get me. As elated as I was, I was sad for worrying my grandmother.

Side note: I have apologized to her as an adult and have cried so many times for hurting the one person who loved me the most in life. 

I went to school the following Monday and the rumors came pouring in. Quita and I were out with boys. I had sex with this boy, and that boy… The rumors were so unbelievable. If only they knew about what I’d actually encountered a year before, I bet they wouldn’t have ever said those things.

On the next day, my grandmother told me we were going to the doctors on Wednesday for me to get a pap smear. Not knowing what it was, as soon as I got to school the next day, I asked a few girls in my Honors Chorus class. Being the only tenth grader, and the most inexperienced sexually, they had so many stories. “It won’t hurt, don’t worry about it”. One girl said, “they stick this metal thing in you…” that’s all I heard and I walked away. Why in the hell was I getting that? I knew right then my aunt put my grandmother up to this. She hated me and that’s what I chose to believe.

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