When you don’t speak up about bad things that happen in your childhood, it follows you as an adult; trust me I know.
After being silenced, internally, by the events that took place, I didn’t know how different my outlook on men or even people would be… But it did change.
I hated people. I hated men who got close to my mom. I hated my sisters girl friends and boyfriends. Most of all, I regretted not saying anything to anyone about what happened to me on that night.
As time went on and a certain persons health deteriorated, I was happy again, even though it was only for a moment. He was dead. I didn’t care why and I didn’t care how. All I knew was the man who changed my childhood forever, scarred me emotionally and mentally, violated me physically, made me hate myself and feel disgusted and unclean was now dead.
And guess what? I was happy. Honestly, truly, happy.
God forgive me, and god forgive him.